|It's an update!
||[Sep. 22nd, 2009|01:34 am]
I was hanging around with bestest friend April (who lives in Emeryville (it's right next to San Francisco) but is visiting her old stomping grounds and sleeping on the couch here)(double bubble!) and we were checking out the internets as we are prone to do. On said internets, I came across a review site via twitter called e4g.info which may possibly be the funniest gaming related website I have ever seen. How can it be so funny? Why, with the power of the english language of course, which means I can do the same via copy-pasting some highlights, but it's not the same unless you get the full context of the 'reviews'.
Beatles: Rock BandBeatles Rock Band emphasizes the Beatles era and gives the player the feeling of being at the show alongside some of your hero’s. Unfortunately any of your previously downloaded songs from other Rock Band games will not be compatible with Beatles Rock Band, and the games short but respectable soundtrack will leave you waiting for Harmonix release of new songs for the game. Yet, due to the lack of some popular songs and The Beatles General simplicity, will make the game easy for any music game veterans, and may be completed within hours upon purchase.
The multiplayer is perfectly executed and deserves a job well done with all the weapons, modes and stuff you can do in the environment. Other than that it’s just a basic 3rd person shooter Multiplayer mode.
See? It's pure comedy. From the usage of Beatles era, giving feelings of attending shows with hero's, and the usage of general as a capital letter. I just.. wow, I am in shock, how the fuck anyone gets off calling that a good line. I think the writer has some sort of split personality in the Uncharted review. Let me reenact his writing process.
"HOL Y FUCKING SHIT THIS GAME IS THE BEST THING EVER, IT'S PERFECTLY EXECUTED MULTIPLAYER !!!!"
The reviewer then takes a moment to compose himself before speaking again, and realizes that nothing is great.
"Well, it's a job well done with the weapons and such, and I can do things in this environment. Hell, aside from the
perfection, it's nothing special and is basic aside from all the original crap. I wish I had drugs to stabilize me".
Soon he is breaking down in tears, curled up in a fetal position on the floor of his room praying for Mario to come
rescue him from the nightmare that is his life.
I may have embellished a bit on that.. but honestly, he has some of the worst reviews I have ever seen, and I have read some of the ones on GameFAQs, which is a known hive of poor writing. I am not trying to say I am sort sort of genius at writing, as I know I kind of suck fat dicks, but I should really start writing reviews, as it looks like someone gave that asshole press copies of games, I could at least write a review that makes sense. I also know how to use a fucking spellcheck.